Anxiety

You might be wondering about the title, a bit random maybe? This is my blow-off-steam and venting song from college. My song of choice when I feel like punching something [and, dare I say, maybe even someone] and I’ve been repeatedly playing it these last few days. Keep on reading to find out why.

A wedding should be cause for joy and celebration. It is only too often that we forget about the not-so-pleasant situations that accompany a wedding [and yet are left out from most wedding magazines, blogs, etc].

Our wedding planning has been mostly smooth sailing, perhaps because we’re having a small affair. However, this past week has been something else. We are nearly at our two-month mark and one memory has been screaming at me.

It was this past December, and the Mister and I had gone back home to attend a good friend’s wedding. I was sitting at my mom’s kitchen island contemplating our current family situation. The words that came out of my mouth are, still, a little unexpected – both for me and the Mister.

“Let’s just run off to Vegas and elope. It’ll be so much easier.”

Three very unexpected situations have happened in just a four-day timeframe. I can’t help but laugh at the first one. Although annoying, it was still a pretty minor thing, and easily fixable. [Yes, we can pick up my uncles and grandmother at 4:00pm on a Thursday afternoon, at the airport that’s normally 45 minutes away from us, through rush hour traffic, and still make it to our 6:00pm wedding rehearsal – right!]

The other two, well, those are a little bit bigger [although completely unfounded, 8th-grade-drama type of issues] that can be hurtful and emotionally exhausting. The most disheartening thing is that one of them came out of left field from the least expected person. [Big “Vegas” neon flashing sign, anyone? No? Just me?]

It’s seven months after my random statement at my mom’s house and I’m still not sure if the Mister thought I was serious or not. I know I was, although I’m not sure I would have followed through on it. Would it have been worth it? Such a simple question probably deserves an equally simple answer.

No, it wouldn’t have been worth it.

This is our wedding. This is our day. Yes, it is important for my family and his, but, ultimately, it is ours. It’s our choice, our decision, and our prerogative to have the wedding and marriage of our dreams.

Although selfish, and maybe a little immature, sometimes the only way to go to retain some sanity is to just say “Screw it, this is our wedding, and we’ll do whatever the hell we want!”

Has your wedding planning been smooth sailing or have the big waves of drama crashed down on you? What’s your blow-off-steam song?